Wonder, Heartbreak, & Hope

Currently, I am attending an artist in residency that was recommended to me by a fellow creative. It has an outstanding reputation for bridging the artist and the Christian faith and encourages churches to make a place for these gifts. In one of the sessions, we were asked to consider the narrative behind the story of humanity and reframe its language into the categories of hope, wonder, and heartbreak.

To do so, I'd have to create a triptych so I could process my thoughts and define what those words meant to me. So, I began the triptych, and here are those definitions:

Wonder: a connection to something awe-inspiring (beauty) that rises suddenly and crests like a wave, leaving your senses alive and your heart worshipful.

Heartbreak: a connection to something this is the oppisite of what was hoped for (love) is not present, has not come, or cannot be recieved. It's out of alignment with the Way of Origins and births chaos. The result of this encounter creates distance, death, and grief.

Hope: a connection that allows the soul to revive in a context where it has withered and encountered pain and chaos. Because of this, like yeast, it can be worked into the soil of the past to uproot weeds like bitterness and improve the soil nutrients again so new life can grow. This element can be worked into the present to transform the future so that the mind and the will can choose to trust even when the expected outcome isn't guaranteed.

We were also challenged in this session to rewrite a Psalm that held each of these three concepts through the lens of our own story.

Psalm 6- Reimagined

Oh God, my Judge,

I am disillusioned and out of tune;

be gentle with me.

This first, now old, wound still echoes and throbbs.

A betrayal brought to court and turned over

Still plagues me.

Have my prayers been hidden drops in a river?

Something died before me, and I'm still waiting.

I am still looking for the fulfillment.

I have ashes rather than love, beauty, or truth.

Shouldn't everything bear your imprint?

How long until these tears are gone?

My soul withers in the waiting, fading & watching.

Empty arms are my proof,

Settled, yet lacking.

Rearrange these pictures of chaos before me.

Usher in your preeminence, magnificence, and brilliance.

Grant me the assurance.

Keep this lamp burning.

Redeem the disfigured,

Replenish my courage.

Hold my feet in this fire while I wait.

God, my Friend,

Turn your eyes to me and whisper

...these shadows will not remain.

You only tell good stories, and I wait.

Because I asked, You'll answer,

You'll show Your power,

and my enemies are running because they know it, too.

God, my Father

For though whithering exists, I remember what You've done.

Cause my heart to bow before Your wisdom.

I'll live a better tale.

No longer in grief waiting.

You are an endless ember.

I remember.

You play the long game.

May your love overwhelm me,

like it has before,

even in this desolate place.

God, my Helper,

I remember. You alone prepare the table,

You can set this one however you may.

I will embrace what comes, knowing-

You see me.

You hear me.

You have not forgotten.

You will take hold of my prayers.

And I will watch, with wonder, as a better tale is spun.