Nicknames & Gratitude: how precious space came to be so…delightful.

I like the idea of nicknames, though I have had only one that I have truly treasured. The key to a nickname is who is giving it to you. I have searched for a long time for God's proper nickname. Papa was a little too popular for my taste. Finally, I read about a character called God Loveley in a book, which felt really right to me, but not the type I could use in public. So, for this writing piece, I will try out the nickname Wonder just to try something more personal.

I think every relationship has precious space. My relationship with Jesus has been beautiful, human, and long. It is a story unique and very special to me because of the treasure I have found in Jesus. In my early stages as a kid, I loved the Lord's presence and the joy I felt in worship as much as I loved laughing and adventures.

But, my life hit bumps starting in the 4th grade and moving forward. Within those bumps, my heart closed off to people, and I lost my childlike ability to trust. Instead, I filled my eyes with reasons to be hurt and sold my mind out to stories of tragedy. It took meeting people who were game-changers for me and cultivating the practice of quiet gratitude to help me climb out of the knot inside me.

As I have aged, healed, and rekindled my childlike wonder, I have found highlighted to me, again and again, the little gifts from the Lord that open my heart to His majesty. I believe in the story He could make with my life. I fill my art with these lovely little glimpse symbols.

How many of you know when Jesus comes, he comes with radiance and a zealous heart?

There are many stories from who I was to who I am now. The backbone of each of them is the relentless kindness of God showing up to give me a reason to trade up my thinking so that I could live a better story.

For example, it was right around college when I visited a church that was a catalyst for change. In that place were people who didn't just know the Bible; they knew God personally. I was so curious to discover what was different that I switched churches. Curiosity led me to seek a mentor there. I was also led to a book where the main character had a friendship with God. The Shack was one man from Papua New Guinea's creative best at teaching His kids who God was. I also read some of William Paul Young's blogs back then. I have a picture forever in my mind of two chairs in front of a fireplace and a warm drink in hand as the place where the Lord comes to have a conversation. The rhythm of that friendship was the first thing that took my relationship with God out of the box. I traded a dull, fear-based relationship for one full of life and adventure.

Recently, I talked with the Lord about what is unique to our relationship. I was looking to trade up on a fear of having to share His heart and potentially losing His favor. The subtext was, why did you dream up me? There must be something extraordinary there. A key to my relationship with Wonder (nope...it's still not quite right.) is the questions I ask him. He loves my questions. I have also changed my tone from suspicious and accusatory toward trust and optimism.

God has a unique relationship with everyone he ever made. There is a well-crafted glimpse of God in every person. What I most treasure about my own design is that he told me, "You are made up of stars, butterflies, and all the beautiful things. " I have heard that phrase for years when I ask him about myself. On this particular day, I asked the follow-up question. "That's nice, Jesus, but... what does that mean?"

He gave me a picture describing our relational territory and a list of what he enjoys sharing with me.

Picture 3 plots of land growing gardens all in a row. The first plot on the left is God's relationship with himself. He has all kinds of life growing there! It's beautiful, and there are a lot of birds and animals living there too. It almost seems to sing.

The 3rd plot on the right is my relationship with myself. In this grows a few weeds (though I have worked hard to tend the soil and de-weed my life), fruit, and a lot of pink flowers. Butterflies love this territory, and hummingbird feeders are its bordering trees. There are also bee hives flowing with honey and a little creek running through the garden just to add the sound of laughing, moving waters.

What is in the 2nd garden is my relationship with God. Both of us bring into this middle space something from our own gardens that blooms and grows because we both enjoy it. It's how we bond, what we like, and enjoy. It blooms with his comfort towards me when I am sad and my ability to sit with him when he is sad. Our garden is full of life, and it is certainly not dull.

I was made from the part of His heart that's symbol is the look of awe when a child first experiences something exciting and beautiful. Stars and butterflies are examples of that. I was made to witness the delightful actions flowing from God's heart so that he could enjoy my reaction. (I do have a pretty great surprise face!)

I love my place with the Lord. I get to hear stories and receive gifts! I am sure I have neighbors that have sections of that part of God's heart too, but what I do with mine makes our relationship space unique.

Since he made me a list, I'd like to reciprocate here with the things I love about who we are together: Wonder and His delight.

The sound of God's voice and what He says.

The way he says things. 🤣

The look of delight He has for me.

The way sunbeams break out of the clouds whenever I say hello to him outdoors.

The out-of-the-box way He has taught me to relate to Him.

His laugh.

How we relate when I paint or write.

The beautiful partnership found in co-creating.

The adventures.

The stories that feed my heart.